Let’s get a few things straight right off the bat. Being a people pleaser is not the same thing as being a Christlike servant leader. You may try to squeeze the behavior into the box, but it is never going to fit. A people pleaser has their sights set on making people happy and codifying their feelings first and foremost. Being a Christlike servant leader is following Jesus’s example by serving them through acts that are parallel with the kingdom. People pleasers will often compromise values to avoid confrontation to make the other person feel good about the situation.
God is not a people pleaser. God does what he wants, how he wants and when he wants. He doesn’t work around our feelings or schedule to make sure that things are convenient for us. He doesn’t care what our point of view is because in the end, all that matters is if we are following him or rejecting him. When we choose to become a Christ-follower, our eyes need to be set on God and not what other people want first. Often times people turn into distractions that take us down a wrong path or consume our time in the wrong way.
Obviously, we live in a society where there are lots of people pleasers around us. I would call this the nonconfrontational crowd. The behaviors that these people demonstrate are easy to spot because they do it in a way that does not draw attention to themselves. If you have read my book, you will understand the bobblehead Christian mentality. Agreeable people that do not want to rock the boat or upset anyone. I say, what good is that behavior when it comes to living out the Gospel or representing Jesus? Jesus constantly rocked the boat many times in the Bible when he didn’t go with the flow but challenged people.
Jesus was not a people pleaser.
Jesus didn’t come to earth so that he could please people. He came to earth to serve others by bringing the gift of salvation through his death and resurrection. The ministry that Jesus had on earth wasn’t to go around and avoid conflict by making people happy. He preached many messages against the Pharisees. Jesus called out sin instead of making it acceptable. He didn’t passively agree just to get along. If you want to follow this example then quit being a people pleaser and do what is right, not necessarily what is always popular.
Being a people pleaser means that you function off of emotion rather than reality. Emotions are often not grounded with a firm foundation, but rather the feelings of the day. This is why it is so important to read and understand your Bible. When you read your Bible, you will hear the word of God speak. You will see many examples of the behavior that was demonstrated for us to follow. When you understand your Bible, you take control of your emotions and make them follow facts and truth. Being a people pleaser is a habit that you should break because it does not follow Christs example for us.
Galatians 1:6-10 New American Standard Bible 1995
Perversion of the Gospel
6 I am amazed that you are so quickly deserting Him who called you by the grace of Christ, for a different gospel; 7 which is really not another; only there are some who are disturbing you and want to distort the gospel of Christ. 8 But even if we, or an angel from heaven, should preach to you a gospel contrary to what we have preached to you, he is to be accursed! 9 As we have said before, so I say again now, if any man is preaching to you a gospel contrary to what you received, he is to be accursed!
10 For am I now seeking the favor of men, or of God? Or am I striving to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a bond-servant of Christ.